Saturday, August 7, 2010

Shark Week Rules

While I love nothing more than sitting back and listening to people talk about how they were attacked by a shark, whatching Day of the Shark 3 turned into a bore-fest. As each situation was described, the setting, the time of day, the behavior of the person, I bacame bored....it was so obvious to me why these people were attacked...it was all so predictable. Have people learned nothing from Shark Week?


Let's go over the things that put you at risk for a shark attack:

  1. Don't swim in murky water. How can you avoid something that can smell you, but you can't see it?
  2. Don't swim where fresh water and salt water meet. This is where sharks, especially Bull sharks have their pups...this is just asking to get bitten by a Bull shark.
  3. Don't swim in the early morning, in the evening (dusk,) or at night. Dawn and dusk are when the sharks feed and at night (like in murky water) you can't see.
  4. Don't wear shiny things or bright colors. Shiny looks like scales and bright colors are extra visible to sharks.
  5. Do not walk or swim erratically in the water. Sharks will see you as a struggling fish and that means easy prey.
  6. Do not stand in the water while you fish. For that matter don't swim anywhere near anything or anyone is fishing. Schools of fish are an attractive easy meal for sharks, plus the fish you pull out on your fishing hook is both bleeding and struggling...that's calling the shark to come on over.
  7. Do you see dolphins in the water? Do you see birds diving? Chances are they are feeding which means the sharks will be there soon.
  8. Don't swim alone. Sharks are more likely to attack you if you are alone, plus if you do get bitten, who is gonna drag your bleeding ass out of the water?
  9. Number nine isn't really a rule that many people follow or suggest, but over the years of watching shark week, I suggest you stay away from kayaks and surfboards. They make you look like a seal and therefore delicious, especially to Great Whites.
Now, just because you follow all of these rules doesn't mean you are 100% safe, you still could be bitten by a shark, and contrariwise, just because you ignore these rules it doesn't mean you will be bitten by a shark.  However not following these rules means you are more likely to be bitten by a shark. Of course more people are killed by falling coconuts than by sharks.

If you are bitten by a shark, do whatever it takes to get away, but keep in mind, if you stick your hands in the sharks mouth to pry it away, you are gonna lose those hands.
Also remember that despite the fact that the shark is attacking you, it's probably not that interested in eating you.

So, swim carefully, be responsible and always be aware of your surroundings. Sharks aren't out to get you and really aren't a danger unless you are being foolish.

Oh and also remember, if you think there is a shark at your door, don't open it just because it says it's a dolphin.

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